Seek First to Understand: Kassy Alia Ray

Episode Highlights
In 2015, Kassy's husband Greg, a South Carolina police officer, was killed in the line of duty. Kassy was a young Mom and in grad school at the time. Her planned life changed in an instant.

In this podcast, Kassy talks about how she moved beyond her grief to give back to others. Kassy Alia Ray went on to found the nonprofit,  Serve and Connect.  Serve and Connect envisions a community where police and community members work as one to ensure community safety.

In her TED Talk, and in our conversation, Kassy tells the story of an interaction that helped shape her thinking.  In this episode we talk about:

• The fact that we all want the same thing: for our communities to be safe, our families to be protected, and our children to thrive.
• How hard it is to see from others’ perspectives, especially when we don’t agree.
• Death is a part of life. Because we all live in community, we love, and therefore will experience pain and loss. When we step outside our grief, we can connect and see outside ourselves.
• How our norms around grief keep us from healing and finding joy. 
• How she learned to lean into difficult conversations by seeking first to understand. 
• What we all need to do to learn to listen and build our empathy muscle. 
• How Serve and Connect seeks to be the bridge between police and those who feel harmed  by police.
• The community work that Serve and Connect provides support for communities and police and helps them connect in new ways.
• Why we both love the article, In Praise of Paradox by Julian Rappaport.
•  How we find the courage to collaborate and work towards a common understanding. 

Dr. Ann Price is a community psychologist and evaluator based in Georgia. She works with coalitions, nonprofits, and foundations and helps them use their data to change their communities and helps them better tell their story.
Contact Ann at aprice@communityevaluationsolutions.com

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Music and editing by Zachary Price,  zachpricet@gmail.com

Kassy's Bio
Kassy Alia Ray, Ph.D., is the founder and CEO of Serve & Connect, a nonprofit organization focused on fostering positive change through sustainable police-community partnerships. A graduate of the University of South Carolina with her doctorate in Clinical-Community Psychology, Kassy founded the organization after her husband, an officer with the Forest Acres Police Department, was shot and killed in 2015. Under her leadership, the organization has grown from a simple hashtag to a movement dedicated to creating change. 

Kassy’s work bridges the gap between law enforcement and the communities they serve, and draws on her personal experiences related to the loss of her husband combined with her expertise in Community Psychology to ignite transformative change in police-community relationships. Her work has been recognized nationally, including a feature on NBC’s Today Show and in Time Magazine, for its impact. She is a member of several boards and workgroups, including the International Association of Chiefs of Police subcommittee on Community Policing and the American Psychological Association's Presidential Taskforce

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Music by Zach Price: Zachpricet@gmail.com